All tagged toddler

The one about my fear.

I’ve been spending more time with my own mother recently. She’s (kindly) been spending one day a week with the Tiny Dictator while I work from home. Though, lately, I’ve been escaping to the office. Partly because of commitments there, but mostly because I can’t spend any more time with my mother.

The one about the village.

When I was three months pregnant, my husband and I moved in with my parents. We did this for a few reasons, but one of the big ones was that I couldn’t work while I was pregnant and needed a lot more help being a human than usual. My baby is now four months old and we’re looking to buy a new place and leaving the safety of my parents’ home. As anyone who’s ever done any kind of house hunting will tell you, it’s a clusterfuck of hideousness - but aside from all that it’s got me thinking.

The one about being tired.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so tired. The kind of tired I feel these days sits in the pit of my stomach, and drains me of excitement and energy, and willingness to do so many things. I don’t actually remember the last time I slept for more than 3 hours in one stretch. And, it seems, that there is no end in sight.

The one about fear.

I love me a horror movie. Like, really very seriously it's my favourite genre. I also enjoy crime fiction and true crime podcasts - my husband and I listened to them at bedtime before the baby arrived, but now we're never in bed at the same time. What I'm trying to say is, I'm completely obsessed with manufacturing fear from the comfort of my bed.

The one with the rooster.

Strangers offer you all sorts of advice. The pinnacle of this was when we were returning from Europe - me 4 months pregnant - and the customs officer who was searching our luggage for contraband began explaining to my husband, in graphic detail, how to unblock an infected milk duct. Everything you want to hear when you’re pregnant, nauseous and jet lagged ...

The one about indecision.

I recently read this New York Times article about the very modern fear of becoming a parent. It delves into the reasons behind this fear - indecision, financial insecurity, memories of your own difficult childhood - and examines the new services springing up to help struggling singles and couples make up their minds.

The one about the female body.

I'm not totally sure I've ever properly had a relationship with my body. Maybe, if pressed, I'd say I had mostly a neutral or beige relationship with my skin suit. Like, it houses my consciousness - which I adore it for - but beyond giving a home to everything that makes me a human I don't pay it much mind …