#WCW - Growing a Human

#WCW - Growing a Human

Do you ever come across a page on the internet and you realise that the person behind it is your long lost soulmate? Well, that happened to me when I discovered the Growing A Human blog. Peta, the mastermind behind the page, is all the things I wish people would think I am - funny, cute, clever, down to earth, self aware and all the other words that basically add up to spell LEGEND. We’ve chatted to her about what it takes to survive, and thrive, when you have a baby at fifteen (or any age for that matter). We hope you love her as much as we do.

- Give us the 25 words or less version of you!

Hmm.. I live on impulse and mistakes. I’m obsessed with people and imperfections. I LIVE for words and stories. For human’s. I’m a typical Scorpio

- You had a baby a 15! I'm sure you get sick of answering this question but what was that like?!

Hahaha I don’t get sick of the question - I’m a curious person myself, I totally get it.

But I guess - It was all I really knew. I got pregnant after only having two periods, I didn’t even know what a fucking UTERUS was - until I saw it on the screen and it already had a tiny human inside it. My world changed immediately and I just had to go with it. I loved that tiny human more than I loved anything - immediately. I knew I HAD to have her. There was no question. My reality had to change, I knew that. But I was literally a kid - only just the legal age to babysit and I had signed up to babysit for the rest of my LIFE. Without pay. The reality didn’t hit until she was born. I hadn’t been prepared for the repercussions that creating an actual human life had. Would have. Still has.

But yeah sorry, I guess in short - it’s all I know.

- How did you cope?

For some wild reason - I lucked out. She barely cried, she slept well, was mellow but alert and generally just a super chill baby. I also had a shitload of help. I loved being a mum.

What I didn’t cope with, was the mindfuck of postnatal depression and inability to let the teenage girl in me go. I fought with her for a long time. I wanted to be a teenager and a mum - at the same time. And that doesn’t work.

- It seems like you've made a little human who is genuinely a massive legend. That can't have been easy when you were just a baby yourself when she turned up. What do you think you did right? Because obviously you did tonnes right!

My Human is everything. She literally comes from a different planet or my blood is magic or something - because unless karma just hasn’t hit yet, I’ve not had to deal with a teenager even remotely like I was. Having grown up with so many very different families around her has given her a lot of perspective I think. I’ve tried my best to avoid giving her any childhood trauma I guess hahaha I’ve just wanted to show her that her experience of life can be different from mine.

- You're also a huge legend yourself - how is it possible that you were able to get yourself to where you are given that while the rest of us had fifteen years to get our shit together, you had to get yours together while you were so young?

Hahaha oh gf no! I STILL don’t have my shit together. But I’m a huge believer in the fact that we encounter people for a reason. Every star in every universe - created this girl just for me. She came exactly when I needed her. I had no love for myself - I’ve always kind of been that way, it’s one of my worst examples that I can set. But I lived for her. She kept my heart beating. And still does. We wouldn’t have got here without her, not me.

- Tell me how the blog started?

If i am not good or something, or don’t get something - I tend to give up on it. Writing has been the only thing I keep going back to. A book is the only thing I have ever KNOWN I was going to do in one way or another. I just didn’t know when and I hadn’t quite found my voice to tell my story.

One night after a shit week of parenting - I started writing about it. I wrote about three pages and thought fuck it - if I can’t share THIS, I’ll never be able to do a book. After intense negotiations and strict instructions of anonymity with my human - I posted it.

- I love how honest you are about your demons and struggles on the blog, does that kind of transparency come easily to you or is it something you've learnt?

I’ve always been a fairly open book. But I’m an incredibly self conscious person. I can’t stand the idea of people pointing out my faults for me - so I do it myself and then they can’t use them against me. Faults and imperfections are what we have in common as humans, more so than anything else. But we don’t know it because we don’t talk about them enough.

- Is the blog a kind of therapy for you?

YES. Writing has always been super cathartic. I let a lot go, once I can see it in words in front of me. It helps me process. Which has been a lot more intense than I thought. But good.

- I sometimes find that I have to make a conscious effort to blog about positive things - the complaining comes so naturally. But your blogs are often so joyous and you celebrate the little wins, how do you manage to stay so positive? Especially when the internet can be such a shitty place?

You are so sweet! If you don’t laugh, you cry though right? If I can’t find the funny side of shit then I don’t wanna know about it. To be honest though, I am terrified of negative comments, I’ve been pretty lucky so far. Though I’ve had some pretty weird messages. The internet is wild.

- When is the book and movie coming?!

Hahaha! My main goal is to get this book done by mid next year. Though I have no idea what the fuck I will do with it when it’s done. I know NOTHING about writing a book. Movie?! Bahaha now that would be a horror, porn, comedy and drama all in one.

- What's one thing your internet family might not know about you?

ooh. Maybe that I don’t read my posts once I’ve put them up. I just can’t. I have to let it go or I’ll over analyse it and want to delete it straight away. I still can’t believe anyone reads the words I write - like it fucking blows my mind.

#WCW - Ailie Banks

#WCW - Ailie Banks